Disciplining Your Children Without Feeling Guilty
Many parents fear that if they don't give their children what they want they will damage them, or their children won't love them. It is the parent's job to teach their children how to behave in the world so that they will be successful throughout life.
Children build self-esteem and confidence by doing things for themselves, and parents need to teach them the skills and limits to feel competent. You have no reason to feel guilty when you focus on instructing your children and following through with consequences that help them understand what is expected of them.
Questions to Ask Yourself about Disciplining Children:
- Do I respond to my child out of my own frustration?
- Do I do for my child what he can do for himself?
- Am I more concerned about my child not being mad at me, than teaching my child right from wrong?
- Do I communicate in a way that lets my child know that I am on his side?
General Tips
- Realize you are your child's role model; children learn about responsibility, empathy and manners from watching their parents
- Try not to yell
- Make sure your child gets plenty of sleep each night
- Establish routines so children know what is expected of them
- Be consistent with consequences- when you are inconsistent, children learn to not take your word seriously and push the limits
- Give your child a lot of positive attention- encouragement, recognition and affection; children change their behavior when they feel encouraged and valued, not shamed and humiliated
Remember that discipline requires time and patience. Giving-in to your children in the short-term will only cause more problems for them in the long run. The more time you take now to teach and encourage your children, the easier your family life will be.