Positive Discipline
Discipline
With positive discipline, parents can help their children learn to behave so that when they are not there to guide them, their children will know what to do. When you think about discipline as an opportunity to teach and not simply to punish, you are more likely to empower your children to learn and succeed. Children are constantly exploring their world and searching for how it all works. When we view children's behavior not as something to control, but to guide, we are in a better position to support children's growth.
We all dream about the wonderful parent we want to be and of our compliant, well-mannered children. But the reality of everyday parenting, exhaustion, impatience, non-stop child activity, and more, can quickly lead us to say things to our children we wish we could take back. It's normal and is all part of being a parent. To reduce frustration, your's and your children's, here are some things we can do:
Empower Children Rather than Control Them.
Children tend to follow rules when they feel empowered to follow them. Parents and teachers can avoid power struggles with children when choices are offered and children are held accountable for their choices. "Do you want to brush your teeth after dinner or before bed?" "If you talk during class you will have to sit away from the group. It's your choice."
Model Behavior.
Each child needs to experiment and test his own behavior within clearly defined limits. In other words, our children are supposed to act out, talk back and not listen; at least once and most likely many times. Children just want to learn the rules of life. By modeling for them how you want them to manage frustration and communicate, children have an example to follow: "I'm really angry and I need to take a few moments for myself."
Communicate Expectations.
We have many expectations of how we want our children to behave, but we often don't tell them. We have to tell our children what we expect. Children tend to do well when they know what to expect: "We only have time to play on the swings at the park today. Then we will need to go to the store."
Follow Through.
If we do have limits, we often don't enforce them. The hardest part of parenting is having the energy and determination to follow through; to be firm. Sometimes it's easier to give in to their unreasonable demands. Children are so persistent and parents are often so tired. Avoid saying: "No, No, No, No, No. Yes." This just teaches children to hold out until they get their way and to not take your word seriously.
Give Your Children Your Time.
To give your children messages that they are loved and valued really listen to them, give them a lot of encouragement and affection, and give them your undivided attention for a period of time each day.