Children's Needs While Going Through a Divorce
Children's emotional needs are greatly increased during and after a divorce. They experience guilt, worry, fear and confusion. If parents are consciously focused on and sensitive to their children's needs during and after a divorce they will do a better job of meeting those needs.
Need for structure
With the loss of a family leader from the home children will check and test for structure so be sure to give it to them. They need structure more than any other time in their lives because this is when things seem to be falling apart for them. Enforce consequences for misbehavior consistently and make their world as predictable as possible.
Need for a strong parent
Whether or not you feel brave and strong, try to appear the best for your children. They're worried about you and their other parent. Do everything possible to assure them of your strength, and in doing so, you make it possible for them to relax. Show yourself to be a person of strength and resilience.
Children should not be given the job of healing your pain or expected to take sides
Try not to burden your children with situations they cannot control; it will promote feelings of helplessness and insecurity causing them to question their own strengths and abilities. Divorce uproots children's feelings of stability and pitting your children against their other parent magnifies the instability. Also, do everything in your power to accept your ex's new mate since this person will also play an important role in your child's future stability and happiness.